


i never told you i was lonely too

by pontifexcitrina



Series: acoc short stories [1]
Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:54:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26022259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pontifexcitrina/pseuds/pontifexcitrina
Summary: cara and amethar and the things that are left unsaid.
Series: acoc short stories [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1888750
Kudos: 6





	i never told you i was lonely too

_You’re going to be the king, right?_

The words echo around in Amethar’s head every time he thinks of Catherine.

He stays up at night and thinks of the things he’d leave behind, a kingdom, a wife, his sisters.

He walks the halls of Castle Candy at night, his head heavy from the crown.

He often finds Caramelinda asleep at the base of Lazuli’s statue.

He always carries her back to their bed.

She’s always gone by the time he wakes again.

He and Cara live in awkward moments. She sometimes speaks to him as that foolhardy kid who ran through the walls of the castle without a care in the world. He speaks to her with deference, the future Queen of Candia.

He doesn’t think he’ll ever look at Cara again without seeing the ghost of Lazuli on her arm.

Amethar lays a map of the Dairy Islands out on a table in an unused room of the castle.

Somewhere Cal hasn’t even gotten to yet.

He crosses out all the places the scouts have been.

He buys a boat underneath the cover of dark, you weren’t the youngest of four without coming up with tricks and hiding places of your own.

He’s distant and Cara doesn’t notice.

Cal does and subtly reminds him that he has dinner with some local nobles this evening.

Amethar nods.

The boat is packed, he has his maps, he will never be lost in the sea.

Cara comes to him.

She looks broken, which surprises him.

Above all else, Cara endures.

“Now?” He asks.

She nods.

Amethar blows out a breath.

This wasn’t for him.

This was never supposed to be for him.

It was supposed to be him and Catherine, growing old together looking at a sea that was calmed by his hand, and their children. His life was in a cabin somewhere with the woman he loved, chopping firewood and dancing with her.

He thinks of Catherine at the bottom of the sea, thinks of Lazuli, and her body riddled with arcane arrows. He can’t tell if it’s better if he doesn’t know if she’s dead. Cara’s life was this, all the splendor and lavish of Castle Candy had to give to her but Lazuli in his place.

Wearing the crown.

Having kids.

Growing old. He holds Cara as she sobs into his doublet, rubs her back reassuringly.

Searches for the right words to say.

“I know it won’t be hers. But it can be ours. It’ll have a piece of her too.” Amethar says.

“There’s two. Lazuli always said it would be two.” Cara murmurs softly, her voice thick from tears.

“Two then. We’ll name one after her.”

He doesn’t mention the nights where he found her curled up at the base of the statue, the nights where she cried out for Lazuli in her dreams. He saw all of these things and still was going to leave.

_You’re going to be the king, right?_

Amethar wonders why his grief is any greater than Cara’s. Any more important.

Amethar sells the boat. Boards up the room.

Doesn’t speak Catherine’s name again.

**Author's Note:**

> title for this chapter from home with you by fka twigs


End file.
